i have no clue how else to explain it. this week post tuesday i have been in a funk. part of it has been the schedule i've been keeping. late nights and early mornings does not a wonder woman make. part of it has also been my sister came up wednesday night and with her arrival brings more renovations.
now there are much greater things to worry about. hurricane irene, syrian conflict, human rights being violated everywhere, but how can i be a better person for others if i'm not a better person to myself?
i am my own worst critic. whenever my family is in town i default to expounding on the negative and dismissing the positive. like it's my lot in life to not be enough. and it's not their fault, it really is my own. it's the way i'm wired, if you will. it's what i've built in my head is my point for existing on this plane of life. and it's not right.
the best way for me to see it is journaling. i write down every negative thought i have and usually during the writing of the negative thought i realize that it's a bit overdramatic. it really is. and if not overdramatic, definitely unfounded.
at the end of the day the storm will pass over and break up. yes there is debris and certain uprooted elements here and there. but just like the east coast will rebuild, as will i. in my own little way i can pick up the pieces and start to rebuild. some structural elements will remained, most of them really. and the ones that have taken a worser beating can be cared for and restructured, maybe even stronger than before.
after the clouds comes the sun. always the sun.
No comments:
Post a Comment